“Must Have Good Sense of Humor”

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Loneliness is a formidable opponent to happiness. I vacillate daily – hell, hourly – between them; this the true plague of humanity. Thank heaven for my dog and my dear friends, although I often pity them the burden of their devotion.

As the new year looms near, I begin again to think about new goals, to jot down lists and revise and revise and revise…I want to become a better writer, to increase the discipline of my daily word count, to maybe…maybe…put some of it out there for consideration. My friend Cilla has been prodding me for almost thirty years now to commit my silly little “men without a clue” diatribe to paper; to put it in book form. I have never been willing to do that as it seems derisive – and GOD KNOWS I WOULDN’T WANT TO BE DERISIVE….insert evil witch laugh here…

But, truly, men are clueless these days. At least most men of my generation. I have always felt that somehow we have failed them, leaving them floating out in the space of their own ignorance. The communication lapse must be ours. In a sad and funny sort of way, I have always prided myself on communicating my needs clearly…right down to a detailed description of how to behave around me. As Dr. Phil would say…”and how’s that working for you?”

In this morning’s writing exercise I began a fantasy personal ad as a wish list of traits I would look for in a partner, or even a friend…and no one is as funny to me as I am, FYI.

I decided he would be a “converted nerd”. In his younger life he was cool. He has all the characteristics of the hipsters of my generation…the language innuendos, the good dress habits (he wears scarves, after all)…the ability to project emotional aloofness, an addiction to music – our music, the music of the sixties…he insists on a good haircut, oh…and he has no patience for football.

But now he has MATURED into nerdiness…he practices being nice, while understanding it is not our nature. He is relentlessly curious about all things fantastic and mythical. He has lived long enough to discard his learned proclivity toward practicality and convert his considerable resources of attention over to imagination. He is Willy Wonka in an Einstein suit. He is obsessed with Mark Twain and not ashamed of it…in other words, profoundly in touch with his feminine side and not too manly to say so. He is bookish and boyish and he believes in magic – or at least is willing to suspend his beliefs, as he knows how limiting they can be…he is C.S. Lewis and Neil Gaiman all rolled into one very smart guy.

And…he wants me. Now, THERE’S an exercise in suspending reality!

And now  Nadine says, “We’re not trying to clone YOU! Maybe he could still have the ability to think for himself…” Well, see, that’s where we get into trouble…

For Cilla P. and Chris C. and Nadine…thanks for hanging in there. “Unforgiving, the choice still is, the language or the kiss…” Please, God…don’t make me have to go to ComiCon…

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One response »

  1. I did a list and ended up with Chris. She has at least 85% of the characteristics that I put on it (it was a long detailed list). When you are ready, he will come into your life.

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