Here’s the thing. The thing is, these days don’t count. We haven’t had more than a tease of sunlight in weeks. I think it’s come out twice since the beginning of October maybe? And not for more than 10 or 15 minutes each of those days, weeks apart. It’s just that time of year. Although some years winter is sunnier than others. This year has been dark.

It never gets fully daylight. It’s half day, half night. When the moon is full, like two nights ago, it’s hard to distinguish between the daytime and nighttime. At least the moon throws shadows, which is more than we see throughout the “daylight” hours. The sky is flat grey. No clouds. Just grey. Same color as the unlit snow on the ground and the dull sage green of the trees. Since my teen years I have called it the shoebox effect – “I am living in a shoebox and God left the lid on.”

So, these days don’t count. There is no need to keep track of anything, no need to think in terms of progress. No need to measure or compare anything. They’re free days. No expectations. I have no idea where my motivation has gone, and frankly, I don’t care.

I really feel like anyone in the entertainment industry has missed a great opportunity here. I would love to sit on the sofa and watch television every waking minute. In fact, that might be worth staying awake for. But, nope….we got nuthin’…so I have read four novels in the past 2 weeks. I have re-watched all my favorite television series for the umpteenth time. My sense of humor has become quite warped. I crack myself up. I practice my accents.

But I will say, every single little thing I get done feels like a great accomplishment. A friend asked to meet for coffee a couple of days ago. Heck yeah. I even got dressed (over my pajamas) and brushed my teeth. Bonus!