Category Archives: Bill Nighy

in real life…

Standard

In my dream I was married to Bill Nighy. Because A) dream, B) mine. The video was called Real Life. He wrote it and starred in it. And it showed him living daily life. Cooking. Painting the living room wall. Yelling at the kids. Regular stuff. Like the camera had just followed him around for a while observing the ordinary. Just bein’ a regular guy…only Bill Nighy could make that look natural…

But the internet kept going bonkers (as it has been lately, here in my real life) and I’d have to close out YouTube, go back and search for the video again. It would bring up something else. No. I just want Bill Nighy in Real Life. Delete everything else. Delete delete delete…

And then I woke. In case you didn’t think God has a sense of humor. Just get back to real life, Susan. Power down. Turn off the computer. Walk outside. That will be easy today, as it’s sixty-three degrees with a breeze off the lake. We’ve had 24 hours of rain and everything is green and scrumptious. Real life alert: the lawn needs mowing again. The sink is full of dirty dishes. Did you want clean underwear?! Then you’d best do some laundry.

I’m a big fan of Bill Nighy. Although I have doubts that I’d want to be married to him. Sorry, Bill. Luv ya’ but no. I’m sure his present wife will be relieved to hear that I’m no competition. I’m an even bigger fan of ordinary life. I have one of those, and I’ma try to live it to the best of my ability today, sans Marmite. No, thanks, to that, too, Bill.

…and for a moment,

Standard

when I’m dancing…I am free. I want Bill Nighy as my anxiety. But not really. I want free. Anxiety and pain have gotten the better of me this week. The lab tests came back, still and again, positive for Lyme. I’m not able to do much. Back on meds…ugh. These two remind me that art is the only way out of this mess – mine or yours, physical or emotional. And art is whatever you decide it is; whatever empties you.

I have to remind myself not to let fear take away my peace. This short film was made to help support the artists of Ukraine. Don’t we all feel helpless in the face of the world’s oppressors? And aren’t they oppressing to the best of their ability? My body can’t seem to fight off the bacteria from a minuscule insect, let alone war.

I think I broke a couple of toes last night, tripping out of bed. And I just started laughing (through the tears!) Oh my, how I take life all too seriously. Dear spirit will do whatever is necessary to get my attention. I will put on some music today and dance around if it kills me…and empty out my body and my mind of the debilitating anxiety. Get present. Get here now.

So what can we do in the face of oppression, of illness, of anxiety and worry? How do we switch off the solution driven thought machine and act creatively? Be our souls? We empty, we get outdoors, we go back to the old drawing board, we allow ourselves to be just a teensy bit more generous than feels comfortable right now…we expand.

We B R E A T H E….ahhhhhh. ‘Cause, don’t you wanna call it off?