Laura Linney won a Golden Globe for her role in The Big C. I was thinking about it the other day; wondering why was it was one of my favorite series? She kinda – okay totally – goes a bit bonkers. Wouldn’t we all in her situation? But that’s why the character was so inspiring. She’s so real…so present. So insane. I am reminded of a favorite quote from Julia Cameron in The Artist’s Way – “going sane feels like going insane first.”

I want to go sane, preferably without the dying part. I’ve gone sane in the past. It’s not usually fun. In fact, it’s messy and painful and people hate you. Just FYI. For me, it means I’ve reached the end of my rope. I’ve been trying to address something, make changes in my life, and nothing is working. But something irreplaceable and priceless comes out of it: CLARITY.

Do we have to go insane to gain clarity? Good question, to which I do not presently have an answer. Since I am currently practicing what I have so long been preaching, I am relishing every moment as perfect. I am right where I need to be doing exactly what I am meant to be doing.

Several times in the past few weeks I have said (including to my doctor) that “there is nothing wrong with me that 3 consecutive days of sunny, 40 degree weather wouldn’t cure!” I stand by it.

Meanwhile, since that isn’t likely to happen anytime soon, I shall endure. Some days more cheerfully than others. Gnome sane? Because I really do know, deep down inside, that this is all sacred.