“Urban art in a cute little countryside cottage.” says interior designer Anna Campbell. This is another tiny space jam-packed full of detail, and entirely comfortable in it’s vernacular. It’s one of my all-time favorites. The artist homeowner, Penny, says it herself, “I just feel I belong here.”
Belonging. Such a concept, but not likely what we think of immediately. In many ways I think all I ever wanted was to belong. The majority of my adult life until quite recently has been spent trying to create a sense of belonging, albeit misguided. I can look back in glorious, hilarious, hindsight and see it clear as day! I wanted a big, welcoming family home where everyone hung out and gathered for the holidays and made themselves at home. The home of my childhood, where I never did feel I belonged. Because I didn’t. I always felt like a visitor from a foreign land. I remember asking my poor Mother several times if she was certain that I was not adopted. As if, what?!, she wouldn’t recall giving birth to me? What a silly child. My Mother would assure me that all five of her children had the same mother and father, although she was entirely perplexed by their differences. Like part of any family, we had much in common. We were nothing alike.
My favorite poem is called The House of Belonging, by David Whyte. It pretty much sums up why the concept of HOME and belonging are so important to me. Here are the last few stanzas:
“This is the bright home in which I live, this is where I ask my friends to come, this is where I want to love all the things it has taken me so long to learn to love. This is the temple of my adult aloneness and I belong to that aloneness as I belong to my life. There is no house like the house of belonging. “
…besides my head. Pardon me, I couldn’t resist. If God is in the details, Fiona de Lys is an angel incarnate. Here I am, still in wonder. Join me in my rabbit hole this morning? What do fashion, storytelling and rest have in common? Let’s visit Fiona and have a look ’round and see what we can learn about living a creative life…a deep, soul quenching life of peace.
Her home tells a story, a “narrative” as she calls it. She is telling us her personal story – about what she loves about her home, color, and her work. She can’t separate those out, nor should she. Let’s face it, our homes are at once metaphor and expression. Fiona was being restored as the space was being restored. When life’s changes (whether chosen or forced) require a move we must slow down and listen.
When she talks about the home needing to breathe she is describing a physical characteristic of many European and northern African houses. The lime finish on the walls is an organic material, a kind of chalky plaster. The climate is not friendly to gypsum, or what we call drywall. In her stairwell you see it’s natural state before any color is added. It’s a soft, mottled finish. And it does contract and expand with the temperature and humidity.
She likely added solid flooring. That is a fairly new addition there. Many old English country houses are open to the ground underneath the floorboards or bricks. Most of them do not have central heating systems. That is why you see doors on every room; they closed the heat of the fire in to stay warm. If they are listed (on the historic registry) they were built long before these amenities had been invented. Having a “cooker”, or Aga, later became the only source of heat other than open fires. Notice the desk in her dining room is almost as old as the U.S. How is it that we are not humbled by how much we have to learn and how much we take for granted? I’m convinced that if we possess any emotional intelligence at all it came from our ancestors through our genes. But I digress…
This home is full of interesting details and ideas. I’d love to hear what you noticed and liked. Fancy trying any of them?
I am new to the Amazon Affiliate program, and have yet to figure out the technology of adding a section to the blog. Any link from inside the YouTube video is from the sponsor, in this case, Homeworthy. The links following here provide me with a small commission should you make a purchase. Let’s start with the shoes. I have these! They look just like the Amazon essentials I love, found here: https://amzn.to/3X7y3e0 They’re comfortable and I wear them often. William Morris coffee table book for inspiration: https://amzn.to/4c2om4B, Green Kimono: https://amzn.to/4aEln1a
As someone who has suffered with migraines all my adult life, I cannot imagine surviving a headache that lasted 14 years. Talk about courageous! But there are aspects to this story we have all endured. What miracle are you? May I suggest you are too holy to be spoken. May I suggest we never tiptoe…
Do you watch house hunting shows like Escape to the Country and Location, Location, Location and House Hunters? Do you have a dream house? Do you design and decorate homes in your daydreams? Do you watch Nancy Meyers movies just to see the houses?!
I remember years ago when my former husband and I were house hunting. The realtor was a family friend, and I not only managed to offend him inadvertently (ouch,) but I think he was probably convinced I was nuts by the time we purchased a home. I know my husband thought so.
The criteria I was looking for in a home made no sense whatsoever to these two men, including the experienced professional. What they didn’t know was that I was only sharing out loud the few things I thought would be reasonably acceptable to them. I dared not state all the features I was looking for. Among the things I thought were reasonable (hahahaaaa…) but they were flummoxed about, was a window in the bathroom. That really threw them for a loop. “Why do you need a window in the bathroom?” I’d prefer the fireplace be wood-burning, but there should at least be one. No subdivisions, no tri-levels. I said I wasn’t interested in tri-levels, or anything contemporary for that matter. He kept taking us to tri-levels. One day I just didn’t get out of the car. I wasn’t going to buy it, so why waste everyone’s time? “I don’t understand! It’s a nice house! Why won’t you look at it?!” In my smart ass way, I probably said, “well, I’ll just sit in the car and describe it to you from here. How’s that?”
I was secretly also looking for a front door to face east. I was adding the address numbers in my head and doing the numerology. Having telepathic conversations with the deceased former residents. You know, nuts stuff like that. I was looking for quirky, cosy features and they were all about the open concept. Let’s just say we were not on the same page.
It took years to realize that I belong in a small English cottage in a village, what Britains call “chocolate box.” That isn’t happening, although I’m closer – since I’m the only one making the decisions now. I traded some freedoms for some others, and some stresses for different stresses. I have no qualms about having made the right choice, and that isn’t anything I regret.
But I must tell you, after a decade on my own, I am just beginning to realize how much I compromised my own preferences and even dreams – and the true cost of that. Our sensibilities, our preferences, our dreams – they mean something. Without them, we lose our connection to our true selves, and then we consequently lose everything. The compromises were costing me my health and well-being, both physically and mentally.
If it matters to you never settle for less. Stop explaining yourself to people who are committed to misunderstanding you. Stop trying to justify your place in the world. Your ancestors lived through much harder times than this – so you could be here, now – so you could be you.
Seven years ago now, when I was looking for a home, I didn’t have many to choose from. The houses in my price range and area were selling fast and over asking price. My realtor (a woman, who was listening, just fyi) had told me that she didn’t have anything to show me until new listings became available. My son found this house on Craig’s list, of all places! It was in the middle of being flipped. But it had new mechanicals and windows and roof. I could finish the inside myself. It isn’t my style. In fact, it’s my least favorite style, Mid-century modern. But in actuality most of those features are long gone from previous owner’s remodels. This is a summer resort area, and it was originally built as a summer cottage. There are things about it I don’t like, but more that I love.
My front door faces east. The fireplace burns wood. There are two windows in the bathroom! It’s an old house with a good address in a little village. I have the world’s most colorful sofa, and believe me, it isn’t leather. It’s chenille. I want natural fabrics – cottons, velvets and linens. The art supplies live out in the open in my home. Every room has a little red. And a lot of green.
“…it’s cooker or pictures – and so you go, pictures – and worry about the cooker later.” – Cath Kidston
A Painterly Home 