Category Archives: beauty

Be Human Only

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The longer I live the more I realize that we each have an important story to share. We are far more human collectively. Let me tell you one of many personal healing stories: unable to walk with sciatica, I called the chiropractor whose Birmingham office was across from the salon. He agreed to fit me into his schedule before work at 7 a.m. Little did I know sitting in his waiting room that morning would change my life forever. A magazine lay on the table there: The Sun, a small literary magazine published in North Carolina. I have now subscribed for decades, but that 1988 issue had an interview with Helen Palmer about her new book, The Enneagram.

Another article featured feminist poet Deena Metzger. When she lost her breast to cancer she had the Tree of Life tattooed across her chest. These two women would influence the rest of my life. Meanwhile, so would the brief treatment with Dr. Radke, my first chiropractic visit ever. He asked me to sit on the table and he faced me at eye level: “Tell me about the nightmare you had this morning.” I’d never met the man; how the hell did he know I’d woken from a nightmare only minutes ago?!

A traveling circus had come to town, but during the night a fire had broken out. All of the animals had escaped and were wandering the city streets and alleys. Unaware of any danger, I walked the alleyway still sleepy and soon realized that a polar bear was stalking me. Faced with a dead end, I was terrified as it caught up to me, reared back it’s giant head and raged in protest at this unfamiliar territory. And I woke, crippled in pain.

Dr. Radke never did adjust me. Instead he guided me through a meditation where I stood my ground with the bear and allowed it close enough to smell me. I wrapped my arms around the bear and buried my face in it’s neck, smelling it back. The majesty of the beast overrode my fear. “Repeat this visualization at bed time, and if you still have pain in the morning I will adjust you.” I would never experience another day of sciatica in my life.

Like Omi here, I am still in this journey of allowing myself to be soft. Listen here as she describes her healing and let the majesty of our humanity override your fear:

“When I came to understand that there are mythic patterns in all our lives, I knew that all of us – often unbeknownst to ourselves – are engaged in a drama of souls we were told was reserved for gods, heroes, and saints.” – Deena Metzger, Miracle at Canyon de Chelly

The Library

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“Adding the strength and power of the natural world to what we play with…” Barry Dixon describes. Where does inspiration come from? Here, it comes from the woods, the flora of the region, the solar system, his own cutting garden, men who work all night in their libraries and women who have influenced horticulture and design. Notice how these elements complement each other beautifully. The children’s books live on the lower shelves within their reach. Every attention to detail has been thoughtfully considered. Listen to Barry speak so eloquently and precisely. We will continue to discuss how language impacts our lives profoundly, how essential it is to develop a vocabulary that can support your personal expression, and we will also look at how changing your relationship to language improves the quality of your life. I could listen to him speak all day.

Here is exemplary evidence of why developing your imagination and intuition is important. This is a great example of why good design matters, and more specifically design with intention: because WE LIVE HERE.

“Home is heaven for beginners.” – unknown

NOW you are FREE

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Jenny Jackson is my superhero. She is “four years away from ninety.” She has a red refrigerator. She is an expert at making wrong moves in life. She sews buttons on her shoes. She lives on the edge of terror. And she is grateful. I love her. I love you, too. MERRY CHRISTMAS!

“I have been absolutely terrified every moment of my life, and I’ve never let it keep me from doing a single thing I’ve wanted to do.” – Georgia O’Keefe

A Charming NYC Pied-a-terre…

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At 240 square feet – you read that right, 240 – this space holds everything this designer needs. Here we see a great example of how a space must provide not only physical comfort, but visual comfort as well. What would you need to feel comfortable here?

“A house is made with walls and beams, a home is made with love and dreams.” – Emerson

Happy Holidays!

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This friendly young designer is just delightful, as is his home. He has nailed the attention to detail. Here in his small 2 bedroom bungalow he demonstrates maximalist style exquisitely.

I do love black walls. Pair them with natural textures like rattan, greenery, and velvet (oh, my!) and you have just created warmth and drama. Trust me, you’ll love living with this classic design. Put some pattern on your fifth wall and we are talkin’…

Javier’s bathroom is my favorite of all time. I’m planning to steal this idea and paint a mural in mine. If you’re curious, it shows much better in the original tour a year ago (link below video.)

Grab a cup of your favorite holiday beverage and take a little break…XOXO

“Good artists copy; great atrists steal.” – Pablo Picasso

The original tour. Check out the mural walls in the primary bathroom.

Name It to Claim It

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Let’s start here, today. You may think me crazy (a post for a different day) but here’s a basic lesson in personalizing your space: GIVE IT A NAME. Go ahead, I dare you to see what happens. I don’t care if you live in your rusted out van – name it. You have a name. Your cat has a name, your state, etc…you want to engage in a healthy relationship with your environment? Name it.

Not your dream home you say? Take a number. I have had the tremendous privilege of living in some beautiful houses in my life. None of them were my ideal, for a variety of reasons. Currently I live in a 1950’s mid-century ranch. This is quintessentially my least favorite architectural style. I was raised in a dysfunctional family during the 1950’s and 60’s: mid-mod gives me the willies.

My personal style is traditional all the way. It is so not happening here. Nothing grates my one last nerve more than ignoring the architecture of a house and it’s vernacular when decorating. But there are ways to S T R E T C H these boundaries successfully.

My son found me this house on Craig’s list. I had exhausted the available options in a very limited market on a very limited budget. The seller was in the midst of flipping this house, but the essential basics were done. Unlike many of the houses I had seen it was live-able. I could move in and finish it over time. When I prayed and meditated on this option I clearly heard: “you are being placed.” Say what….?

Shortly after moving in I woke at first light to look out an eastern window. The gnarly old tree out front was crowded full of Cedar Waxwings looking in at me. I will never doubt this placement, nor the grace that brought me to Hawthorn Hill Cottage.

“The home should be the treasure chest of living.” – Le Corbusier

A Little Christmas Bonus

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Cathy B. Graham is one of my favorite artists, not least of all because she is inspiring and funny. She re-invented herself in her sixties with her illustrations and her two books; Second Bloom and Full Bloom. They are among my favorites. Her tablescapes are wonderfully whimsical.Notice the watercolor paintings in the dining room and throughout the home; those are her originals. She decorates with vegetables and food and flowers and toys and….she also designed the linens, the invitations, the dishes, the book illustrations….there isn’t anything she can’t do. Let her remind us all to let our inner child play and be delighted in everything we do!

The Perpetual Arranger

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“…you are the perpetual arranger,” said a childhood friend one day many years ago. It is true that I am constantly changing the furniture layout, the menagerie of items, the plants indoors and out, the accoutrement of life. C’mon – you do it, too, whether you are conscious of it or not. We are the curators of our own space. It is a thankless struggle when we are raising children, but it is innate. Now in my later years it is an act of pure delight. Don’t put that there! That goes over here…see?!

My darling mother used to say, “I’m just rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.” How many times I’d been astonished and befuddled by how she managed a big house full of five children (six if you count my father, who certainly qualified.) We would laugh, but I always had the same reply: “It matters, Mom. The arrangement of the deck chairs matter as long as we’re standing here on deck.”

A friend recently confided that her mother thinks her house is cluttered. I’ve been told that about my homes since my early 20’s. But let me tell you something about my friend’s house. The house itself is beautiful, but there is a less apparent component: I walk in and I FEEL an energy shift. She arranges her home with INTENTION. Like myself, she believes her home is her sanctuary; a living altar. I’ve already asked her if I may come film a short video for the blog after the holidays. I’d like to investigate this process with several people whose homes I admire for different reasons.

In design terms, we are maximalists. I am just as disheveled by clutter as anyone, but clutter is not useful nor attractive. And there are ways to live with the belongings you love without them becoming visual clutter. There are specific ways to do that, and we will explore those here in the coming weeks.

The internet is – pardon me – cluttered – with videos about clutter. Believe me, I’ve watched them discerningly. I’ve read the books (glad to share my favorite) and yes, clutter is a symptom of PTSD. It is both indicative of and perpetuates mental unrest. But most of the approaches I have found fall short of long term solutions; they address the symptom rather than the cause. Have we not learned better yet? We’re seeing the manifestation of this in our health care system. Yes, recognizing a problem is the beginning of finding a cure. We’ve got this.

I love my stuff. I love my home. AND, I love my health, mentally and physically. Health is a lifelong goal I will not compromise (shall we talk boundaries here yet?!) The goal is also beauty, inside and out. Health and beauty are two sides of the same coin. Beauty is a sacred affirmation to our spirit, to God, that we are thankful for the grace in our lives. We are paying attention. We are outgrowing survival mode. We are committed to life. Can I get a witness?!

But beauty is entirely personal. AND, I insist – NOT based on economics. You can live a beautiful life in a beautiful place with or without money. Stick with me and I’ll prove it. (I’ve made some pretty cool decorations out of the plastic netting the onions came in.)

What are your seven favorite things at home?

“Nothing is interesting unless it is personal.” – Billy Baldwin

The Temple of My Aloneness

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Almost a decade ago I began this blog, meant to be a lifestyle blog, and ultimately an expression of what home has meant to me. But it has often been about the process of my life, about personal growth and healing. It turns out that “home” means something different to each of us, and has common threads that connect us…and that we all FEEL home within. We feel beauty and appreciate it differently – but we all feel it – physiologically and psychically. Comfort is a visual sense of beauty as much as it is physical. Our spirit recognizes an uncomfortable environment as dysfunction; something is off. It matters to our well being. Let’s explore this further in the days ahead, especially as the long dark winter sets in here where I live.

A craving for beauty has driven my life forward when nothing else could. Color excites me, greenery makes me feel alive. Music and birdsong open my heart and the floodgates of tears, both of delight and grief. I’ll welcome it all.

This morning I had seven young deer in my yard. The past year-and-a-half have brought physical struggles with Lyme disease for me, which the deer carry. I will learn to protect myself, but I will not run them out. These deer all looked like young adolescents. Deer hunting season ended a week ago and my guess is that the adults of the herd are gone now. I can’t imagine living on a planet where you are hunted.

I’m using this video to help illustrate some of the ideas I want to explore here with you. Namely, what are the elements that create a sanctuary home – and WHY is this an important objective? I think it’s actually an innate motivation for us all. Pay attention to how you feel watching this – how are you affected by the soft colors and the imperfect surfaces? Sarah Stanley is looking for her home to “lifts the spirits and stir the soul.” A comfortable home is never perfect. Welcome to The Fable:

“And I thought this is the good day you could meet your love, this is the grey day someone close to you could die. This is the day you realize how easily the thread is broken between this world and the next…this is the bright home in which I live, this is where I ask my friends to come, this is where I want to love all the things it has taken me so long to learn to love. This is the temple of my adult aloneness and I belong to that aloneness as I belong to my life. There is no house like the house of belonging.” – David Whyte, The House of Belonging

…not the grey

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“Grey is the new black” in the design world. As I am preparing to market this property in the spring, I withdraw my consciousness from thinking “home” to thinking “house”.
So I paint the kitchen (no longer “my” kitchen, but now “the” kitchen) GREY: Benjamin Moore’s Revere Pewter to be exact. It is a beautiful warm neutral.

Described as the best paint color ever. Benjamin Moore revere pewter...must remember

Staging a home to sell is the antithesis of personal satisfaction. By it’s very nature – business – it is about DE-personalizing. It requires a change of mind and heart. Nobody said this would be easy…for me, it follows a divorce, and comes with a slew of complicated decisions that still have my stomach in knots.

Winter is a brumous sea here in northern Michigan. As I always strive to bring the outdoors in, grey seems a natural choice. The setting here is pine forest with a few dozen deciduous hardwoods for variety. Just today I realize that the hardwoods have made summers palatable and the pines do the same for winter. The pine trees offer a gift that soothes me through the darkest of days…GREEN.

pine trees

Green has always been my favorite color. I don’t just like it, I CRAVE it. In combination with the surrounding waters it excites the senses, but in contrast…oh…in it’s contrast, it is life itself.

Winter Birds. Nature's own decoration.

Red berries on the wintergreen draw the Cedar Waxwings to my front door…A Cardinal visits…The Pileated Woodpecker arrives like clockwork at the morning feeder. Replicate these elements into your interior and you are honestly in a LIVING environment.
Let’s face it – grey is a survival color. I’ve managed to survive here long enough: I want to live! And life is nothing if not COLORFUL…

Original & divine decadence by Ho-Boan introverts space

“In the depths of winter I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.” – Albert Camus