Category Archives: Lake Michigan

Jun24

the temple of my belonging

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Well, it’s been Crisis Intervention 101 here again. S’always sumpin, innit? But we’re through it intact and life is calming down. And cooling down, finally. Although we are still at 98% humidity. Normal for Michigan this time of year. As we say here, we only have two seasons – winter and July. July just began a week early. The crowd of tourists are all back in town. So I avoid town. They do serve to remind me to get out and enjoy the beauty around me.

This is the draw, and I’m so close to the shore that I can see the tip-top of a 400′ sand bluff from the bottom of the driveway (above the trees). It’s about 1/4 mile to the lake as the crow flies, or a mile downhill to the beach. I love my views, downhill in 3 directions. I have one immediate neighbor to the north, but this is a weekend summer home for them. Because I don’t have many windows on the north wall, I often realize they’ve been and gone only because they set out their trash bin at the street for Monday morning, and I gladly roll it back up the drive for them. They do many nice things for me, like mowing the back 40. I may struggle financially, but I am wealthy beyond measure surrounded in this beauty.

If I’m honest, it is a constant worry that I no longer seem to have the physical strength or financial means to maintain my home or property. We are both tired and worn. So often I will look at the real estate online to see what I might find that would be easier to grow old in. But every time I become overwhelmed with sadness. I love my home; I just want to take proper care of it. I love where I live. The ashes of my sweet pups are buried in the garden, their final romping place. My elderly kitty is the mighty king of his domain and I’d love him to live out his days here. It’s quiet and peaceful and safe. And the roof has started to leak…

I’ve often wondered why home means so much to me. Other people I know seem far less attached emotionally to the place where they dwell. In my dreams I am frequently in my childhood home on the Detroit River, long expanse of lawn lined with 3-story-high willows swaying in the breeze. Hundreds of peony shrubs perfuming the air, sunrise over the river. In a surreal way I felt somehow more connected to the natural surroundings than the people I lived with. There’s more than a few therapy sessions needed to unpack that realization!

And in hindsight I confess that I stayed far too long in an abusive marriage because I didn’t want to give up my home. Home. It’s really all I have ever longed for…a home of my own. Heaven for beginners.

Oct22

the inland seas

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Today I am sitting in my favorite local coffee shop writing. This is a new experience for me; I’ve never done this before. I’m really not this cool. But it is a gorgeous, sunny fall day and I was determined to get outside and do something, anything. I’m working on changing some habits. I’m determined to improve my health and my life. I’ve become heavy again, having gained weight lately. And I’ve become heavy with sadness. Fast approaching 71, it’s way too easy to sit and stew.

So I’m trying some new things. Beginning with leaving the house more often, moving around a bit. My closest family and friends have expressed concern that I might be agoraphobic. I’m not. I’m not afraid of leaving the house – I just don’t like it. Mostly I don’t like people, and especially crowds of any number. Like, more than 2. I have become phobic about going to the grocery store. Why on earth do people push closer?! I must smell good…or look friendly, which I am not.

I do love where I live. It’s as close to an English coastal village as you’re gonna get here in the midwest U.S. If it were in the UK the tv show Escape to the Country would be all over it. The year round population here is under a thousand, but that increases tenfold in the summer. Being the middle of October now, we are in the “shoulder season”, the weeks between beach and ski weather. Town is crowded today. It’s fall color tour time. Detroit and Chicago tourists pour in to enjoy the glorious hills lit up like they are on fire against the sharp contrast of the deep blue water.

I have had several conversations about the great lakes region with people from other parts of the country. One native New Yorker said to me years ago, “oh, I could never live inland.” And I said, “spoken like someone who has never seen the great lakes.” They are called the inland seas for a reason. Many people are shocked when they first visit. Just fyi, no, you cannot see across them. And, yes, they have tides. Yes, you can surf them. Think north shore of Devon. But colder. And no sharks.

When I bought my forlorn little cottage several years ago it had new windows being installed. They are hurricane windows. We have hurricane force winds here, especially in winter. With no leaves on the deciduous trees and on the lee side of a 118 mile wide lake, the winds git to goin.’ Winters here are not for the faint of heart. But that’s what keeps the population (and the insects) to a minimum. As someone who doesn’t like warm weather, it’s as close to heaven on earth as anywhere I can imagine.