Category Archives: Quintessence

‘Caol Ait…the thin place

Standard

When I was house hunting several years ago I had become quite discouraged. The first house I made an offer on I was over-the-moon smitten with. It really was my dream house. I didn’t get it. I offered $5K over asking price within 24 hours of it being listed. I was the second offer, and not the highest. But I was devastated. It still feels like a loss. Some days when I’m on an errand nearby I cannot resist the urge to drive past. Add house stalker to the list of my guilty pleasures.

Once I had a purchase agreement on the home I actually bought, moving toward closing, the process stalled twice. The seller was not complying with terms of my lender, or not fixing the things the inspection tagged. Again I became discouraged, so twice I threatened to call off the deal. It did motivate the seller. Each time when I became frustrated I did what I always do – asked for guidance in meditation. Both times I clearly heard: “you are being placed.” Because I was grieving the loss of the first house, I frustratingly replied to God, “whatever…”

The first neighbors I had next door were psycho neighbors from hell. I have never dealt with anyone like them in my life. They were threatening me and I was afraid in my own home. I suspect drugs were involved, but come to find out they had caused trouble with the other neighbors for years. I learned that the man I bought the house from had sued them apparently. Their dog had attacked his fiance’. The first summer I was here their cat attacked me – as in ran across the yard and flew 5 feet through the air at my face. The arm I used to block the attack required stitches and I was given a course of antibiotics.

A year or so later I received a letter from the township informing me that they had applied for a zoning variance. They wanted to open a day care facility, and a public hearing would be held at the next township meeting to decide that. There were already 4 adults, 2 teenagers and a few children living there in the small house. They regularly parked on my lawn. There was constant traffic around the clock, along with regular all night parties. Their dogs, cats, and chickens ran all over my property, including inside my gated back fence. And they often left my gates open as my yard was a shortcut for them to the side street – where 15 or 20 of their party guests would park once my lawn was full. They walked by my bedroom window all night with flash lights yelling to one another.

My daily life was untenable this way, and I concluded that I would have to move. But now my other neighbors came knocking on my door imploring me to action; they had received the same letter from the township and were in a panic. Further away and not in site, they had no idea what I was dealing with. They had endured their own altercations. That day in my living room we prepared letters to protest the zoning variance and attended the meeting en force. We took an attorney along (a family member of mine) to show we meant business. The application was denied, but I feared repercussions.

Early one morning before dawn I opened the front door to out my elderly beagle Odie. I was face-to-face with the neighbor woman immediately outside my front door, carrying a milk jug with brown liquid in it. Startled, I asked her what she was doing and she said, “killing these dandelions for you.” I said no, thank you, and asked her to leave my property, to which she narrowed her eyes and grumbled, “we were here first.” I don’t even know what that meant, but I didn’t ask. Don’t try to reason with insanity.

During this process I was meditating (when I wasn’t shaking and crying) asking for guidance. And I distinctly heard, “They are being re-placed.” I had no idea what the heck that meant either, but soon a For Sale sign went up in their front yard. I actually fell to my knees and burst into tears. No one should ever have to live like this.

Their house sold within 24 hours and $5K over asking price. That house, and the one behind me, have since been sold as holiday retreats to young families from Detroit and Chicago. Not only do I rarely see or hear anyone around me, but they are so very pleasant when they are here on the occasional weekend. They know I am keeping an eye. I will gladly take their weekend trash to set out, and they will often mow my “back 40” as a gesture of appreciation. They leave baked treats outside my door. I couldn’t want for better neighbors.

My house still needs work. In the 7 years I have been here I have done some, but not all, of the finishing work. Built in 1955 it is solid. It needs to be; it is usually buffeted by high winds off Lake Michigan. About a quarter mile inland, with wintertime glints of sun off the water, I look out from treetop level across valleys in three directions. Southeast I see pine-forested hilltops miles in the distance. Hawthorn Cottage is now a quiet little sanctuary, my very own thin place. So as it turns out, I have been placed.

Author and designer Ted Watson Kennedy has a summer home also named Hawthorne Cottage:

the best accessory

Standard

They are not actually an accessory, of course. They are precious and treasured family members. Growing up we always had dogs. And cats and fish and birds and my sister had a horse. But “my” first dog was a black cocker spaniel named Blackie (I was 5, okay?) and I loved him with all my heart. Sitting on the living room floor rolling the ball to him, he chased it under the couch. When I bent over to retrieve it he nipped at the same time and caught my eyelid. If I remember correctly I had about 8 stitches. It wasn’t long before Blackie disappeared one day, coincidently the same time as “my” cat, Kashmir. In hindsight, of course, I’m sure my parents found them other homes for reasons I was not privy to. But I was devastated.

Shortly thereafter my Mother adopted a copper-colored miniature poodle, Coco. Coco was adorable, but was entirely my Mother’s devoted companion. Now as an adult I know that Cocker Spaniels are extremely territorial and prone to nipping. And poodles are prone to epilepsy, which is how she eventually lost Coco. I was in high school by then, entirely self absorbed and often not home. I barely noticed Coco’s absence. And it would be years later, again in hindsight, that I would realize my Mother was never quite the same after losing her beloved Coco. She, too, was devastated.

Over the decades I’ve been blessed many lovely, lovely dogs and cats. I’ve loved them all, but not all the same. I’ve also loved the dogs and cats of other family members and friends. I’ve even fallen madly in love with a bird named Lovey. They’re like people in the way that you just have an inexplicable connection with some of them. They mean the world to you.

I’ve had three Pembroke Welsh Corgis who were really special to me. After losing the first, Christie (Arborglenn Pastel of Christie to you) and then Oliver, I would never be the same. By then I had also adopted Hariat from the Lakeshore Pembroke Welsh Corgi rescue. Her given name was Ariat, after a line of equestrian gear. She had been a working dog on a horse farm. She was 5 years old when I was blessed with her and I had her for 10 wonderful years. I had driven four hours south to pick her up from where she was being fostered and when we arrived back home, she and Oliver met nose to nose and were instant besties. It was so uncanny, I had to wonder if they had ancestors in common. It seemed as though they recognized each other.

I’ve had that happen with other animals, too. It’s unexpected and delightful when there isn’t any adjustment period. It’s as if they say, “Oh, Hi. I’m so glad you’re here.” It happened most recently with my little beagle, Odie, who I had adopted from the shelter, and a giant Maine Coon cat named Chewy. I agreed to foster Chewy for a couple of months – six years ago. Odie and Chewy were inseparable from day one. We’ve lost Hariat and then Odie in the past five years. I’m not getting over it. Maybe it was easier to cope with when I was younger and had a busy scramble life with lots of people in the house. Maybe I just didn’t have time to notice my pain as much. Now it’s just me and Chewy. I won’t challenge him in his old age by trying to introduce another animal. He is so dear. I’ve often said that he doesn’t know he’s a cat. He thinks like a dog and acts like a dog. Like my dogs before him, he follows me from room to room and doesn’t sleep soundly unless we are touching.

My life has been so enriched by the sweetness of every pet I’ve been privileged to keep and care for. They certainly bring out the best in us.

Susan’s Recommended Reading: At Home In the English Countryside Designers and Their Dogs, by Susanna Salk: https://amzn.to/3VbDOoc, Beloved Dog by Maira Kalman: https://amzn.to/3Rdt07S

My Real Imaginary Friend

Standard

In the first grade at Nankin Mills elementary my teacher assigned us pen pals from a school in England. Freckled and red-headed, I remember staring at Penny’s photo for hours thinking she might be a fairy. We would not continue our epistolary exchange without a teachers prodding, but throughout all these years I have imagined Penny, my real imaginary friend…

And so when I became aware of British textile designer Penny Morrison, and realized we are about the same age, well…I conjured up all sorts of imagined trips back and forth, even touring India together. She is warm, generous and funny, and we are the best friends you could possibly imagine! I do so love our visits…

“To send a letter is a good way to go somewhere without moving anything but your heart.” – Phyllis Theroux

Let’s Talk About Communication

Standard

This week I want to continue this theme of communication – and the library. Few of us have a room we can dedicate as a library, but some of us have a den, or perhaps a bookshelf. Let’s all incorporate the sense of a library into our interior spaces as best we can. Again, if it can be done on a minuscule budget, I will find a way. There is a direct correlation between books and language, of course. The more you read the better you know yourself, and the better you will communicate. Who can separate the value of that process out from their mental health? Not me.

A healthy mind builds a trusted imagination – an intuitive imagination. I’ve talked about this in some of my videos teaching the tarot and psychic development through my other blog and YouTube channel, Crow Quill Tarot. I cannot separate any of these elements out of my life; each informs and enriches the other.

Decades ago a therapist challenged me to improve my communication skills. She told me “your ability to communicate directly affects the quality of your life.” I told her she had lived in California too long. And have since spent forty-odd years or so trying to disprove her statement – unsuccessfully, I might add.

Designer Thomas O’Brien has built his dream home AS a library. I’ve written about this video before, having been inspired by the garden, and specifically the willow trees (see blog post of December 3rd, 2018,) but I can’t address the concept of library without referring to it. He seems to have mastered this idea of a completely integrated work and home life.

“There is no such thing as working from home. But you can live at work.” – unknown

A Little Christmas Bonus

Standard

Cathy B. Graham is one of my favorite artists, not least of all because she is inspiring and funny. She re-invented herself in her sixties with her illustrations and her two books; Second Bloom and Full Bloom. They are among my favorites. Her tablescapes are wonderfully whimsical.Notice the watercolor paintings in the dining room and throughout the home; those are her originals. She decorates with vegetables and food and flowers and toys and….she also designed the linens, the invitations, the dishes, the book illustrations….there isn’t anything she can’t do. Let her remind us all to let our inner child play and be delighted in everything we do!

Be Very Afraid…

Standard

She’s afraid of beige…I so get that. Beige is a euphemism for mediocrity. Mediocrity scares me. It has frightened me away from writing, here and elsewhere. It has frightened me away from painting. But ya know what? Screw that…I will turn 70 in a few months. I’m tired of being afraid – of anything. I’ve lost people that I don’t know how to live without. I’ve lost beloved pets – some of my best life companions, shitloads of money, my sanity more than once…

When I began this blog many years ago I was grieving heavily. I still am. I’ve come to understand that grief is part of my everyday life, and I am so good with that. It’s a portal to an open heart and a remarkable way to live more fully.

Since you have wandered here today, please come back soon. I’m going to explore this world again and I would relish your company, and your input. I plan to write and share ideas, music, books, and most importantly, inspiration. I need more of it, and don’t we all?

“…the insidious, evil, creeping taupe…” – Alexandra Stoddard

“Do something, Susan, even if it’s wrong.” – my Mom, Doris

The Willow’s Bow

Standard

“This is the bright home in which I live, this is where I ask my friends to come, this is where I want to love all the things it has taken me so long to learn to love. There is no house like the house of belonging.” – David Whyte

Well, I wanted to write a blog post about the fabulous home of designer Thomas O’Brien showcased in the latest video by Quintessence. But I’m fighting back tears…it has sparked childhood memories of sliding down the banister of my grandparents huge old Tudor in Detroit, shaking out cornstarch on the linoleum so our feet would slide when we danced the Twist, and of watching scary movies at a friend’s renovated old colonial in Birmingham where I used to dog sit the beagles Liberty, Justice and Freedom, and of the smell of old polished wood and ancient roses…and life.

My parents bought a rambling Cape Cod when we five kids were little. It was old by 1960’s standards; the architect had built it for his mother in 1926. I loved that home for many reasons, including the hidden staircase from inside my sister’s bedroom closet to the attic. And the faerie-sized garret doors perfect for squirreling through to hide. But I remember playing hide and seek outdoors most of all, crawling inside the peony shrubs that lined the 400′ lawn between the house and the Detroit River. They were so old, stems so woody, that they were hollow in the center, a natural fort of branches. They had been planted when the house and gardens were new as a frame inside the majestic willow sentinels. Those trees were taller than the fourth story of the house (where my room was in the eaves) and drifted lazily down to the grass. They whispered to me at dusk that everything would be alright; I swear they bowed to me every sunrise. They kept my tender heart swathed in hope and beauty.

As the house let sway the hours of the day, activity increased around me. I heard the movement of a family, sometimes peaceful, sometimes in glorious song together, often engaged in a personal war, always a family. The willows were still. Downstairs my father or my sister practiced on the grand piano in the living room hours on end. Their repetition, their mistakes, unnerving then, are now fond remembrances.

Such an enchanted life we all live, whether or not we realize it in this moment. I am grateful for all of it, all of the struggle and the beauty. Here, I get a sense of it all rushing back to me. I love watching and listening to these two. Thomas is obviously happy to be sharing the home he truly loves. Susanna Salk always puts a smile on my face. She’s such a “tourist” – she gawks and is demonstratively awestruck – as we all would be. And she’s paying attention! There is no pretension or affectation.  She admits she’s embarrassed at just noticing the fireplace two hours into her visit! They both make me feel more creative and more alive by their inspired way of life. Watch closely, you will see the willows in the garden bowing…