Remember Sark’s famous poster of 1990, HOW TO BE AN ARTIST?! When I first had one I crossed out the word Artist at the top and mimicked the colorful font, writing Alive above it. I thought it was great.

Life was so much simpler then. The poster gave us directives that were actually…do-able! Now I’m an old woman, and most of the directives on that poster seem very childish to me. Never mind impossible. I wouldn’t go back in time; nor would I trade places with anyone. I have so much to be grateful for. But I would be remiss were I not honest with you – the losses have taken their toll.

And honesty, or it’s new buzzword, authenticity, is the only way to live. But like all of life, it takes on a deeper meaning as we age and hopefully, mature. We learn too late in life to take people as they are. Most people will never live authentically. They don’t know themselves well, and although they might believe themselves to be honest people, their honesty is superficial. It means they aren’t living a life of crime; it doesn’t mean they are going to be emotionally vulnerable. Or see any value in that.

Here’s the thing about vulnerability that is hard for me to grasp: it requires everything of me, and nothing of anyone else. This morning as I write millions of people are struggling to survive in horrific conditions, still and again. As it happens, here in the United States, much of the country has been devastated by back to back hurricanes. One of my dearest friends is fighting for her life in Florida. She is terribly ill with RSV, and days without power, food, fresh water. Her daughter has tried to drive the hour to her only to be turned back by police. The roads are not passable. And this is not where the worst conditions exist.

Life is daunting. I guess that I naively had some romantic notion that it would get easier as I got older. That’s because I was shielded from the harshest realities of life – from the honesty of it’s brutality. I believe that was probably true for many of my generation. In our elders’ defense, I think they believed that medical science would save them from suffering. If only that were true.

Let me tell you, I am far more fortunate than most, and I know it. It is almost impossible for my body and mind to contain my gratitude some days. I cry my way through many days. I’m scared much of the time. In many ways, life is harder – but it is also simpler. When it gets real, and it will, it gets distilled right down to the bones. That’s where I want to live now. Stripped of defensiveness. Authentically vulnerable. No more pretending that everything is going to be alright here. It’s not. Let’s just accept that and go from there, and see where life takes us.

The poster did get some things right, gave us some useful advise, especially DO IT FOR LOVE.