Tag Archives: poetry

Jan26

gnome sane?

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Laura Linney won a Golden Globe for her role in The Big C. I was thinking about it the other day; wondering why was it was one of my favorite series? She kinda – okay totally – goes a bit bonkers. Wouldn’t we all in her situation? But that’s why the character was so inspiring. She’s so real…so present. So insane. I am reminded of a favorite quote from Julia Cameron in The Artist’s Way – “going sane feels like going insane first.”

I want to go sane, preferably without the dying part. I’ve gone sane in the past. It’s not usually fun. In fact, it’s messy and painful and people hate you. Just FYI. For me, it means I’ve reached the end of my rope. I’ve been trying to address something, make changes in my life, and nothing is working. But something irreplaceable and priceless comes out of it: CLARITY.

Do we have to go insane to gain clarity? Good question, to which I do not presently have an answer. Since I am currently practicing what I have so long been preaching, I am relishing every moment as perfect. I am right where I need to be doing exactly what I am meant to be doing.

Several times in the past few weeks I have said (including to my doctor) that “there is nothing wrong with me that 3 consecutive days of sunny, 40 degree weather wouldn’t cure!” I stand by it.

Meanwhile, since that isn’t likely to happen anytime soon, I shall endure. Some days more cheerfully than others. Gnome sane? Because I really do know, deep down inside, that this is all sacred.

Dec10

SHE LET GO

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Good Sunday Morning. Let’s have church, shall we? How sacred is this precious life we are sharing on this precious planet? One of my former husbands (don’t judge) used to say, “life is not for the faint of heart…” Can I get an Amen?!

Only recently back to this form of expression, I want to share with you, my revered friends, who have patiently stuck it out with me through years of grief – and anger (phew!) – and, more importantly, humor and insights and love. Just love. We always come back around to opening our hearts. It’s a PRACTICE. It’s a practice of letting go. Of learning to shed our conditioned defenses, of healing.

Turns out healing is a lifelong process (who knew?) and I’m so grateful to have lived to almost seventy now; to find out that I am never going to figure this all out. It’s not figure-out-able. It wasn’t meant to be. As I’ve said since my 20’s, “on the road to enlightenment, I’m taking the local.”

“Now I become myself. It’s taken time, many years and places…” – May Sarton

“Anything I have ever let go of has claw marks.” – unk

SHE LET GO by Safire Rose

Without a thought or a word, she let go. She let go of the fear, she let go of the judgements. She let go of the opinions swarming around in her head. She let go of the committee of indecision within her. She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons. Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go…

No one was around when it happened. There was no applause or congratulations. No one thanked her or praised her. No one noticed a thing. Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.

There was no effort. There was no struggle. It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad. It was what it was and it is just that. In the space of letting go, she let it all be.

A small smile came over her face. A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and the moon shone forever more.