It woke me from a dead sleep…the screech of the wheels as the car came around the corner, headed straight for me…we lived on a curve, at the bottom of a hill, and it wasn’t unusual for cars to come too fast…I sat bolt up just in time for the red sedan to slow onto the lawn. The song was BLARING out the windows.
“How wonderful life is while you’re in the world…” was all I heard.
And having been shaken awake now the dream came back. My Mother was whispering in my ear…she was here, she still exists, she still loves me…Don’t go Mom…don’t leave me here alone…I don’t want to live in a world without you…
Months of grief had left me exhausted. I visited her in heaven, and I new it was real because it was vast beyond anything my conscious mind could possibly imagine. She had a desk there(!), and looked at me with immense patience while reminding me I couldn’t stay.
Was it a coincidence that the speeding car…a small red sedan just like the one she drove, came around the corner at that very second blaring that song? Or could it have been a well orchestrated plan?
You believe as you will, I will keep what I know. Yesterday I watched an interview with Pat Monahan telling about being incapacitated by grief after losing his mother, also to cancer. He couldn’t write, couldn’t perform, the band’s careers in limbo…and then she came to him, in the dream…”I’m still here. I still exist…live your life, I am watching…”
He woke with the melody and wrote down the words. He gave us this:
Amen, sistah. I miss my grandmother so much it hurts. I still ache for her 17 years later. I feel her around because I think of her often. Your little red car and the song… that’s SO your mom.