Category Archives: lifestyle

May18

Preservation Resource Center…

Posted on by
Standard

WHO isn’t up for some preservation resources?!

I have often felt like my Dad was born in the wrong place and time – for which I’m grateful, of course (because…well…me.) He was gay, for one thing. He confided that to us after my parents 27 year marriage ended in their forties. But that was not something he was safe to disclose as a younger man, born in 1933, working in the factories of Detroit. He and my Mother both were talented beyond measure, both visually and musically. They never had much opportunity to be artists; they nurtured and encouraged it in us children. The expression that could not be contained, or even managed, was their rebellious spirits. You’ve heard me say that my parents were beatniks in the 50’s and became hippies in the 60’s…he did like to sport a colorful bandana around his forehead.

He played the piano, daily. We had a baby grand tucked in the corner of the living room where you would often find him tinkering. He played all the classics, but honky-tonk was his passion, and I suspect his sanity. I’m not exaggerating that his voice sounded like Frank Sinatra, and he was extraordinarily handsome throughout his lifetime. Circumstances being different, he’d certainly have given Sinatra some competition.

My father was not a particularly kind man. In fact, I’ve identified him in my older years of therapy as a narcissist, a sociopath. A man of extremely high intelligence and very low empathy. But I can’t help wondering who he might have been if born in a more tolerant time and culture, were he given even a bit more freedom of expression. Repression forces our personality out sideways in unhealthy choices, into addictions and immature abuses. I’m but one child of that fact. Please, God, may we finally learn that now, if we are to have any chance at all of a healthier future. Preferably before another world war. Preferably before the complete collapse of this empire. We have all suffered the consequences of oppression. Our society, our country, is bereft because of it. Our collective spirit is bound by grief, but we shall each know it personally. It’s our wake-up call.

Yesterday I discovered a fabulous new (to me) YouTube channel. Sorry (not sorry) to report – but I am a YT junkie. And home tours are my guilty pleasure, but I’m ever so picky. I want a lot of visual grist. This channel features restored historical homes of New Orleans, post Katrina. Let’s explore a few of these treats this coming week, beginning with this story, which brought me to tears for obvious reasons. THIS was so much like my childhood. Freeze this video on any frame at all and I will point out at least three things that spark memories. I am an endless fount of story, and I’m done apologizing for that. What awareness does this treasure spark for you?

Apr1

Resisting a Rest

Posted on by
Standard

You will see the name of this blog change soon, to A Painterly Life. Let’s face it, it isn’t a blog about home so much as about life. And the content will broaden. We will venture out to explore the beautiful nature I am grateful to live in and near. We will continue to explore lifestyle, particularly through the lens of an aging woman…a creative woman who has survived incest, near-death experiences, growing up in an extremely dysfunctional family in the wild sixties, profound loss, decades of narcissistic abuse, and who is surviving chronic illness. But mostly, a woman who wants to live as open-heartedly as possible moving forward. Moving life forward will be the theme here.

Like most of us, from all walks of life, we are figuring it out as we go along. Our culture is changing fast – as it must. It’s archaic in so many ways. Those of us who long to see a new far more sustainable world for future generations must make serious and often difficult changes – and quickly – to keep our lives moving forward. To feel relative. We must learn to live as a verb rather than a noun.

“I want to learn to live my life as a liquid.” – Cody, Dinner At the Homesick Restaurant by Anne Tyler

These days my body and my psyche require an unreasonable amount of rest. I do resist, albeit futilely. I have so much to do. I find myself wondering how anyone works and does everything else, but in truth, we don’t. I didn’t. I ignored more than was healthy to ignore. I lived in a constant state of overwhelm. I suffered in silence, but I also caused an unnecessary amount of suffering in my bull-in-a-china-shop charge through life. But I survived. I’m a survivor.

So are you. And I maintain a foundational premise I have adamantly defended since adolescence – that creativity is the only way through this chaos. Art, to be specific. And art is not a thing, it is a process, a way of life.

And so I aver: ULTIMATELY, IT WILL BE THE ARTISTS WHO SAVE US. You’re not an artist, you say? I beg to differ. Do you problem solve? Art. Cook? Art. Sing when alone in the car, maybe even off-key? Art. Notice the lichen on the fallen log? Artist! Love crisp, clean sheets? Know when something just feels “off”? Have a favorite color? Savor coffee with dessert? I can go on, oh, and I will…stick with me.

Let’s talk about this plaque of deep fatigue, physically and psychologically. Perhaps more so psychically. Don’t think you’re psychic? Well, I will prove that you are that, too. And it is required of us now to acknowledge and develop this atrophied gift. It is part of living artistically. It is part of living.

We are human. We are alive. We are artists. We are now.

Feb5

moody, romantic, unusual, Little Inka

Posted on by
Standard

Little Inka is yet another wonderful example of the very approachable bioliphic design. Talk about blending the outdoors and indoors! This would be so easy to live in. And hhh-hhhhmmm…I told you black walls could be cozy.

This couple has found a creative way to live off the land, complete with alpacas. I’m in love with them all. Let’s go; I need 17 minutes to pack.

Jan22

Smart Is Smart

Posted on by
Standard

She’s considered a Louisiana Legend. Stunning is the word here. It seemed only fitting after we visited my real imaginary friend Penny Morrison the other day that we would go to Rebecca Vizard’s home next on our tour. We’re back on this side of the pond now, deep in the Louisiana delta a few hours drive north of New Orleans.

Like Penny, Rebecca is a textile designer with a unique speciality, and you can easily imagine her as your other best friend. Don’t be fooled by any of these delightful personalities I might showcase – they work hard. They have put in long hours for decades to get to where they seem so relaxed. My limited experience in design taught me that it looks glamorous to the untrained eye, but it is grueling work, physically and mentally.

This is a generous invitation into a private world, and in another video she gives a tour of her small town, showcasing the artists and small business owners. Both of her hands and arms are bandaged in that video, and she explains that her little rescue beagle, Lulu, was attacked by another dog that morning and she had to intervene. They both ended up with stitches, and her attitude is, “these things happen.”

I recently heard a spiritual coach asked who she thought would most easily make the transition from 3rd to 5th dimensional thought, and she quickly answered, “interior designers; they get it.” As within, so without isn’t so much a spiritual mantra as a daily practice. If a designer has stuck with their art long enough to be successful, they are a master problem solver. They tend to take challenges in stride. They are some of the biggest philanthropists and animal advocates in the country, but we rarely hear of that work. Accustomed to moving up and down ladders, they are adept with a nail gun and emotional support, they regularly take risks and use their own living spaces as laboratories. Life is for learning, and they are infinitely curious. I admire Rebecca immensely.

This is a long video, so pour yourself a cuppa and get comfy. It offers us a treasure trove of design tips, so I’ll point out a few. But please let me know what you find that I might have missed. “Oh, boy, this is gonna be fun!”

Here are a few ideas I’ve gleaned from this video: 1) You are never finished. As home is an extension of life, it’s a process. 2) Separate your work from your living space if possible. 3) Blur the transition from outdoors to indoors. Let the vines in. 4) You’ll hear this a lot from me: open concept is an abomination of the human spirit. Separate your spaces by function. 5) Forgive the mistakes and begin again. A creative life incorporates the happy accidents. 6) Ignore the trends. Do what works for you. 7) Keep painting it until you love it. 8) You will spend a good part of your life at the kitchen sink. Make sure it works well for your needs. 9) Everything is art; treat it as such. 10) Be grateful. Count your blessings every day…and so, use the good stuff. Let the pets on the furniture. 11) “A hat basket is highly recommended.” Make your own chandeliers. Narnia your bathroom door. Make your interior world magical. 12) And for the love of God – make it PERSONAL.

“NOTHING IS INTERESTING UNLESS IT IS PERSONAL.” – Billy Baldwin

Jan19

My Real Imaginary Friend

Posted on by
Standard

In the first grade at Nankin Mills elementary my teacher assigned us pen pals from a school in England. Freckled and red-headed, I remember staring at Penny’s photo for hours thinking she might be a fairy. We would not continue our epistolary exchange without a teachers prodding, but throughout all these years I have imagined Penny, my real imaginary friend…

And so when I became aware of British textile designer Penny Morrison, and realized we are about the same age, well…I conjured up all sorts of imagined trips back and forth, even touring India together. She is warm, generous and funny, and we are the best friends you could possibly imagine! I do so love our visits…

“To send a letter is a good way to go somewhere without moving anything but your heart.” – Phyllis Theroux

Jan17

“…the purposeful non-matching of things…”

Posted on by
Standard

Fellow anglophile Katie Rosenfeld takes us on a tour of her renovated Tudor in the suburbs of Boston. We don’t have any true Tudor homes in the U.S. of course; technically they are Tudor Revival. Early in my married life in the northern suburbs of Detroit we owned a Tudor built in 1926 (which I maintain was the best decade of home construction in this country.) How often have I rued the day I sold that…it was one of the most beautiful homes I’ve ever lived in.

More slowly than Katie, I took to a bit of renovation. It began with ripping out carpet and having the old white oak floors refinished. And then I painted the dark woodwork. I would do that again today. Design rules are made to be broken, but not my first two: unless you’re living in a castle, paint the woodwork. Nothing brightens and updates a space more quickly. My second design rule, as my niece will attest, is this: no overhead lighting! (My niece says I’m like Mommy Dearest about this.) Yes, okay, sometimes it’s necessary. I do have ceiling fixtures (because already existing here) but I provide plenty of lamp lighting as alternative.

At the risk of losing you all here, let me take a moment to illustrate my obsession with the proper use of English. You might as well get used to it. If the lamp is hard wired in to the ceiling or wall it is a FIXTURE. LIGHT is the energy that is PROVIDED. I’m yelling now: IT IS NOT – I REPEAT NOT! A F&$!#**}! LIGHT!!!! Oh my gawd. LIGHT is what comes OUT of a LAMP or FIXTURE. Phew….moving on…breathe, Susan…

And as long as we’re talking obsession, the wallpaper in her dining room makes the room. It is gorgeous. Please use wallpaper in your home whenever and wherever budget allows. Personally most of it has become unaffordable to me at this time – which is why years ago I began to cut stencils out and paint pattern on walls. That is both easy to do and completely affordable to anyone.

The other easiest way to bring your house up to date and looking fresh is to mix the match. Don’t let things get too matchy-matchy. Katie explains this well here with the example of her dining room lamps. This is one of those British design elements that is not obvious, but effective. If you’re wondering why the British can overfill a space with a riot of colors and styles and you want to plop down with a book and never leave, this is the why and how.

Then she does just the opposite in her primary bedroom. Here she chooses exactly the right word: camouflage. Uneven or wonky doors, walls, and windows can be blended to a calm and pleasing end by blanketing every possible surface in the same color or pattern. The bedroom is the best place for this effect as it subconsciously relaxes the nervous system.

There are dozens of other design elements I see here, but that’s enough for now. Just paint the woodwork already and we’ll go from there. Thank you, Katie Rosenfeld.

Jan15

Be Human Only

Posted on by
Standard

The longer I live the more I realize that we each have an important story to share. We are far more human collectively. Let me tell you one of many personal healing stories: unable to walk with sciatica, I called the chiropractor whose Birmingham office was across from the salon. He agreed to fit me into his schedule before work at 7 a.m. Little did I know sitting in his waiting room that morning would change my life forever. A magazine lay on the table there: The Sun, a small literary magazine published in North Carolina. I have now subscribed for decades, but that 1988 issue had an interview with Helen Palmer about her new book, The Enneagram.

Another article featured feminist poet Deena Metzger. When she lost her breast to cancer she had the Tree of Life tattooed across her chest. These two women would influence the rest of my life. Meanwhile, so would the brief treatment with Dr. Radke, my first chiropractic visit ever. He asked me to sit on the table and he faced me at eye level: “Tell me about the nightmare you had this morning.” I’d never met the man; how the hell did he know I’d woken from a nightmare only minutes ago?!

A traveling circus had come to town, but during the night a fire had broken out. All of the animals had escaped and were wandering the city streets and alleys. Unaware of any danger, I walked the alleyway still sleepy and soon realized that a polar bear was stalking me. Faced with a dead end, I was terrified as it caught up to me, reared back it’s giant head and raged in protest at this unfamiliar territory. And I woke, crippled in pain.

Dr. Radke never did adjust me. Instead he guided me through a meditation where I stood my ground with the bear and allowed it close enough to smell me. I wrapped my arms around the bear and buried my face in it’s neck, smelling it back. The majesty of the beast overrode my fear. “Repeat this visualization at bed time, and if you still have pain in the morning I will adjust you.” I would never experience another day of sciatica in my life.

Like Omi here, I am still in this journey of allowing myself to be soft. Listen here as she describes her healing and let the majesty of our humanity override your fear:

“When I came to understand that there are mythic patterns in all our lives, I knew that all of us – often unbeknownst to ourselves – are engaged in a drama of souls we were told was reserved for gods, heroes, and saints.” – Deena Metzger, Miracle at Canyon de Chelly

Jan10

Let’s Talk About Communication

Posted on by
Standard

This week I want to continue this theme of communication – and the library. Few of us have a room we can dedicate as a library, but some of us have a den, or perhaps a bookshelf. Let’s all incorporate the sense of a library into our interior spaces as best we can. Again, if it can be done on a minuscule budget, I will find a way. There is a direct correlation between books and language, of course. The more you read the better you know yourself, and the better you will communicate. Who can separate the value of that process out from their mental health? Not me.

A healthy mind builds a trusted imagination – an intuitive imagination. I’ve talked about this in some of my videos teaching the tarot and psychic development through my other blog and YouTube channel, Crow Quill Tarot. I cannot separate any of these elements out of my life; each informs and enriches the other.

Decades ago a therapist challenged me to improve my communication skills. She told me “your ability to communicate directly affects the quality of your life.” I told her she had lived in California too long. And have since spent forty-odd years or so trying to disprove her statement – unsuccessfully, I might add.

Designer Thomas O’Brien has built his dream home AS a library. I’ve written about this video before, having been inspired by the garden, and specifically the willow trees (see blog post of December 3rd, 2018,) but I can’t address the concept of library without referring to it. He seems to have mastered this idea of a completely integrated work and home life.

“There is no such thing as working from home. But you can live at work.” – unknown

Jan8

The Library

Posted on by
Standard

“Adding the strength and power of the natural world to what we play with…” Barry Dixon describes. Where does inspiration come from? Here, it comes from the woods, the flora of the region, the solar system, his own cutting garden, men who work all night in their libraries and women who have influenced horticulture and design. Notice how these elements complement each other beautifully. The children’s books live on the lower shelves within their reach. Every attention to detail has been thoughtfully considered. Listen to Barry speak so eloquently and precisely. We will continue to discuss how language impacts our lives profoundly, how essential it is to develop a vocabulary that can support your personal expression, and we will also look at how changing your relationship to language improves the quality of your life. I could listen to him speak all day.

Here is exemplary evidence of why developing your imagination and intuition is important. This is a great example of why good design matters, and more specifically design with intention: because WE LIVE HERE.

“Home is heaven for beginners.” – unknown

Dec25

NOW you are FREE

Posted on by
Standard

Jenny Jackson is my superhero. She is “four years away from ninety.” She has a red refrigerator. She is an expert at making wrong moves in life. She sews buttons on her shoes. She lives on the edge of terror. And she is grateful. I love her. I love you, too. MERRY CHRISTMAS!

“I have been absolutely terrified every moment of my life, and I’ve never let it keep me from doing a single thing I’ve wanted to do.” – Georgia O’Keefe